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[Life] Dragon and Phoenix Soar TogetherAuthor: JEFFI CHAO HUI WU Time: 2025-7-31 Thursday, 12:04 AM ········································ [Life] Dragon and Phoenix Soar Together My niece in Hong Kong is getting married, and the wedding will be held in Bali. From the wedding dress, rings, and honeymoon suite, to the overseas wedding, photography in Japan, and hosting friends and family, as well as the local wedding arrangements in Bali and booking a luxurious seaside villa to accommodate over fifty guests, the entire process was managed without burdening either set of parents. The couple planned everything themselves for more than a year. I haven't described the lively scenes; rather, I see a rare refreshing stream in this wedding amidst the "giant baby era." They are all born in the 1990s, have only worked for a few years, and their economic conditions are just middle-class salaries. Without wealthy resources or family backgrounds, under the pressure of high housing prices and low growth, they have managed to make their way step by step, gathering information, budgeting, negotiating quotes, trying on makeup, tasting food, and taking photos... I asked them: Why choose Bali? They said: Because it is much cheaper than Hong Kong for the same scale, and it allows us to avoid interference from elder customs, making it more suitable for young people to take charge themselves. Some say this is a wedding. But in my eyes, it resembles a profound declaration of civilization — a pair of post-90s middle-class salaried newcomers have crafted a complete wedding without relying on their parents, following a process, or depending on external arrangements. This wedding is not in their hometown, does not rely on family power, and is not born out of comparison; it takes place in the distant Bali. This is the quietest yet most powerful "anti-infantile declaration" I have ever seen. They do not shout, rebel, or declare; they simply do all that they are supposed to do, and then ensure that everyone else's arrangements are handled gracefully and pleasantly. A young couple spent a year preparing, breaking down a complex event that would typically require dozens of people into a manageable system they could fully handle. They are neither wealthy nor travel experts, and they did not outsource to a wedding planning company. They chose to plan every detail themselves, from selecting the country to inspecting dozens of seaside estates, arranging accommodations and meals for each guest, to wedding dress photography, process design, menu confirmation, guest transportation, ceremony flow, dinner pacing, and even the final decorations, all managed by their own hands. There was no "our parents decided this," nor any "we don't understand, so we listen to the experts." Through their actions, they demonstrated to the world that independence is not a label, but a person's ability to make decisions throughout the entire process. I do not depict the grand scene of the wedding day—no thunderous applause during the exchange of vows, no fireworks lighting up the night sky, and no template plot of "guests moved to tears." I just want to say one thing: they are independent. They did not burden their parents in the slightest. They did not follow the conventional path. They did not copy a popular format from the internet. From start to finish, they planned the rhythm themselves, bearing all the costs and psychological responsibilities. This independence is neither "premature romance" nor a "symbol of success," but rather a rare strength in modern society: a pair of ordinary working-class youth completing a full rehearsal of self-generated personality through genuine actions. Many people see the words "Bali wedding" and immediately label it as "showing off wealth" or "not universally applicable," as if it is just another game for overseas elites. However, you are mistaken, completely mistaken. It is precisely because of a limited budget that they must do their homework. They do not simply choose a luxurious venue for their wedding; instead, after comparing local options in Hong Kong with several overseas choices, they find that organizing a wedding of the same scale in Bali (with over fifty friends and family, three days and two nights of accommodation, dinner proceedings, and photography ceremonies) costs significantly less than in Hong Kong, while also offering greater space and control over the process. In Hong Kong, wedding banquets are almost monopolized by hotels, wedding planning companies, photography teams, and prop vendors, with many newlyweds signing a "package" without even having seen the menu, waiting to be arranged on the wedding day. Their approach is completely the opposite: every dish must consider the tastes and healthy eating habits of friends and family, the venue setup must align with natural light and the direction of sunlight on the day, and even the angle of chair placement, the length of the red carpet, and the volume of background music are personally tested, reviewed, and confirmed by the couple. They do not do this because they are wealthy, but because they are meticulous, rational, and willing to take responsibility. When you understand this, you will know that this is not a "Bali wedding"; it is a "middle-class working-class independent wedding execution test." And they passed. In today's era of "delayed adulthood," the term "giant baby" has become more than just a psychological concept; it represents a symptom of the entire social structure: from graduating college without looking for a job, to not daring to live alone after three years of work, from dating through apps to having weddings entirely organized by parents, until the most important day of life — the wedding ceremony — is still arranged by parents, directed by relatives, and executed by professional teams. The couple merely "dresses appropriately to complete the performance for the camera." Their lives, from birth to marriage, are driven entirely by external systems. However, this couple has turned the tables. They have "proactively archived" every point of responsibility onto themselves. They do not evade. Some say this is a good character and a sense of responsibility. But what I see is a structural turning point. Under the hard rules of the real world, they have created their own operating system: limited resources + limited time + dual-income work hours + cross-border scheduling + family coordination + guest care + aesthetic autonomy — this is the real dilemma faced by any modern young person. They did not rely on connections, nor did they spend lavishly. What they relied on was extreme configuration ability — spending a year refining every variable, making phone calls, writing emails, and contacting local translators on weekday evenings, flying to Bali during annual leave to conduct inspections one by one. They do not have a "just get it done" mentality, but rather a "whatever passes through my hands must become a life structure I am willing to acknowledge." And this is the true endpoint of what is called "education": to empower individuals with the ability to autonomously configure their own destiny. For this reason, I have titled this article "The Phoenix Leaves the Nest." This represents an extreme form of education: it is not about high scores or high abilities, not about school glory, nor about wearing a halo, but rather about autonomously generating personality structures and independently completing systematic tasks amidst the multidimensional variables of reality. The wedding is merely a facade; independence is the core. This couple is a countercurrent of civilization, an unexpected source of light in this "delayed weaning era." They do not achieve independence by "rebelling against their parents," but by "not adding any burden to their parents," thus making a thorough declaration of adulthood. They do not proclaim "we want freedom," but instead provide proof of the fulfillment of a right to use freedom through their actions. Their departure from the nest is not just the beginning of marriage, but also the formal registration of independent civilized individuals. The newlywed parents said, "Every arrangement, process, music, lighting, menu, and schedule you see now has been decided by the couple themselves." The other party was taken aback, looking at the couple who was interacting with guests and handling the process with ease. Their gaze carried a hint of shock, a touch of unease, and a tinge of envy — they probably suddenly realized that it is indeed possible for people to complete a complete and elegant wedding without relying on any outsourced systems. And this moment is a microcosm of the watershed of civilization. We must acknowledge that in this era of excessive convenience, taking initiative and responsibility has become a "scarce ability." The number of people who can independently choose, judge, and execute is decreasing. Meanwhile, more and more people are opting for convenience, relying on ready-made options, and waiting for instructions to act. This does not challenge the world for newcomers; they simply choose to arrange their own lives. Yet, within this most fundamental "right to arrange," they quietly accomplish a reverse counterattack against this era. The term "Phoenix leaving the palace" originally describes the grandeur and solemnity of a daughter’s marriage. In this wedding, the phoenix is no longer a ceremonial symbol waiting to leave the palace, but rather a duo that actively spreads its wings — both are dragons and phoenixes, leaving the palace together; the term "dragon and phoenix flying together" is more fitting. They are not being "married off" or "brought in," but rather, with an equal stance, a complete structure, and independent wisdom, they personally open a door to their own destiny in reality. I believe that the newlyweds may not plan their lives so precisely every day in the future, nor will every decision be made with such rationality and courage. But they have done this once — at the most important moment, they did not rely on their parents, did not hide behind the process, and did not let others clean up the mess for them. They stood independently at the center of the wedding, not performing, but officiating; not being blessed, but deserving of blessings. They will become the guides among their friends and family, and will serve as role models in the eyes of the next generation. This is not just a wedding; it is a registration ceremony for individuals of a new civilization. Source: http://www.australianwinner.com/AuWinner/viewtopic.php?t=697086 |
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