[Life] A Brief Discussion on Respect and Tolerance

Author: JEFFI CHAO HUI WU

Time: 2025-08-09 Saturday, 4:05 PM

········································

[Life] A Brief Discussion on Respect and Tolerance

Respect is the acknowledgment of others' value and rights, not belittling or denying others based on one's own standards. Tolerance is the acceptance of differences and imperfections, not hastily judging others with prejudice and emotions. These two words are often mentioned in daily communication but are rarely truly practiced. Qualities that need frequent promotion are often the most lacking in society, and respect and tolerance are precisely the extremely scarce civilized behaviors at present. Respect is the acknowledgment of value, while tolerance is the acceptance of differences; these are two interrelated but fundamentally different concepts. According to the 2024 Social Trust and Civilization Index Survey by the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, 91% of respondents hope to be respected, but only 28% admit that they actively respect others in most situations. This attitude of "demanding more than giving" not only reflects the changes in social atmosphere but also validates the warning in the United Nations report on civilized dialogue—83% of global institutions advocate for inclusive values, yet the workplace inclusion practice rate is only 39%.

Respect and tolerance should be mutual; both parties should be equal, at least in attitude. If one party sincerely invests while the other party consistently ignores or even exploits this, then the relationship is destined to be unbalanced. A healthy interaction model is one where both parties perform well, leading to an increase in respect and tolerance, while problems and conflicts decrease accordingly. In psychology, this can be likened to the "resource scarcity model." Respect and tolerance, like energy, can be depleted due to one-sided consumption. When one party continuously takes on the role of the tolerant one, their brain may experience "empathy fatigue" in the neural networks related to empathy (such as the anterior cingulate cortex and insula). Neuroscientific research indicates that the activity level of the default mode network (DMN) during self-referential processing is 47% higher than during empathetic states. This means that when society encourages taking without reciprocity for an extended period, respect and tolerance can be rapidly exhausted.

However, the current social atmosphere is contrary to this, as more and more people are self-centered, unwilling to spend time understanding others, and failing to consider others' feelings. When they suffer losses or grievances, they yearn for respect and tolerance from others, yet never reflect on whether they have offered the same kindness in return. This one-sided demand makes the already scarce respect and tolerance even more fragile. Social exchange theory points out that when reciprocity is long-term imbalanced, a trust deficit accumulates rapidly, leading to a significant decline in relationship stability. Especially in a society of strangers, the lack of trust directly results in "defensive self-centeredness," where people are more inclined to prioritize their own interests rather than maintaining a mutually respectful relationship.

Respect and tolerance are not inexhaustible; they can be consumed, especially in relationships. Prolonged one-sided forbearance and acceptance can gradually cause even the most gentle and generous individuals to lose patience and enthusiasm. When efforts go unreciprocated or are taken for granted, trust and goodwill can be depleted, and eventually, even the more tolerant party may choose to walk away. The economic principle of "scarcity" is vividly reflected here—resources that are overused are more likely to fall into irreversible decline. To avoid this decline, the "Mirror Test" can be introduced: before doing anything, imagine if the other party treated you in the same way and with the same attitude. Would you still be able to remain calm and respectful? If the answer is no, then it is a signal for behavioral adjustment.

Before doing anything, please think about whether you can still remain calm and respectful if the other party treats you in the same way and with the same attitude. If the answer is no, then perhaps it is time to adjust your stance and behavior, because true respect is not just verbal politeness, but comes from treating others equally from the heart. True tolerance is not about enduring silently, but about accepting others with understanding and goodwill. Differences in cultural dimensions should also be taken into account; for example, collectivist cultures often emphasize tolerance within group harmony, while individualistic cultures place greater importance on respect within individual boundaries. In the digital age, algorithmic recommendations and the echo chamber effect of social platforms exacerbate cognitive biases, making it easier for people to lack respect for dissenters within their own echo chambers. This "digital respect alienation" makes tolerance even scarcer in cyberspace.

Only when both parties achieve this can respect and inclusiveness take root and flourish in society, rather than continuing to be a scarce resource that requires constant advocacy. The reward mechanism for respect can be incentivized through behavioral economics design, such as quantifying the "Respect Tolerance Index" in team collaboration and providing positive feedback; the cultural construction of inclusiveness can be realized through institutionalized "Inclusive Design" standards, such as accessible facilities in public spaces and multilingual compatibility on online platforms. When individual awareness and institutional guarantees work together, respect and inclusiveness can potentially shift from scarcity to norm, from fragility to stability.

Source: https://www.australianwinner.com/AuWinner/viewtopic.php?t=697154